Paws, Paws, Paws

I'm pretty convinced on a daily basis that my dog, Kappa, a gorgeous 50-pound half-Shepard half-husky mix, is still the best $40 I ever spent. I adopted her about a year and a half ago at the Edmond Animal Welfare not knowing a thing about her, her habits, her personality, etc. Good thing for me, the guy who had her before me trained her exquisitely. House-trained like none other, doesn't chow anything other than her toys, her bag of dog food is sitting on the kitchen floor next to her bowls and she doesn't tear into it. However, she does have a weird fetish for people scratching her behind. She's so weird! But is absolutely without a doubt the least stressful and most enjoyable thing in my life. Granted, she spends most of her time underneath my bed as opposed to cuddled up next to me like I would like her to but nonetheless I love her just the same. There's nothing more relieving after being gone all day than to come home knowing that as soon as I open the door she's going to be there wagging tail and happy eyes to greet me. Hands down, best $40 spent ever.

I've been looking into getting a small dog lately, too. For numerous reasons. A playmate for her, a cuddle-up friend for me, and simply because I've always wanted a big dog and a little dog. As of right now, I'm just doing some online browsing via adoptapet and petfinder. There is still some uncertainty about what breed I really want, I think I've narrowed it down to "cute and fuzzy." Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to go out and get the first cute dog that makes me say 'awwwww.' I need to make sure the dog is what I want personality, habits, and companion-wise for myself and Kappa.

Some candidates are:

Herbie

Is he not just precious??
I'm not entirely sure if I want to go the Yorkie route.
Seems very stereotypical but he's undeniably adorable.

Turman

I absolutely l.o.v.e. him!
His little wiry face is stinkin' adorable.
However, his profile says he's very shy and timid and needs a dog
friend which would work well for Kappa but I'm not sure I want another shy and timid dog like Kappa, which is weird for Dachshunds. But who knows he might be more personable in real life.

Stewie

I "aww" every time I look at this picture. When I read up on his profile I thought I had a winner winner chicken dinner. He's potty trained, crate trained, playful, cuddly, gets along with other dogs. However, Mr. Stewie is out of a Westie Rescue in Tulsa and nowadays everyone is requiring you to fill out an application for get a dog. Problem is, the standards this rescue holds for you to have a dog are ridiculous. OWR (Oklahoma Westie Rescue) only approves applicants in OK, TX, AR, MS, and KS. They do not adopt to households with children under the age of 10. As well as, any applicant that does not have a fenced yard will be denied; which rules out anyone living in an apartment (this being me). See for yourself.
Since when did it become so hard to get a dog?!

Senioritis? I think YES

I feel like school is the scary part of a horror movie right now.
I just wanna cover my eyes until someone tells me it's over and safe to look again.

Ted Out

So, after having a huge Ted out moment full of what if's and then what's last night I've finally managed to clear my head enough to think about it calmly and rationally.

Like I said, in 16 weeks I will have received my biology degree, then what? What if my GPA isn't high enough? What if I don't get a good score on the GRE (a test which consists of absolutely nothing I've been studying the last 5 years. e.g. math and english)? What if I don't get into PT school? Then what? What do I do? Where do I go? Will I be happy?

I suppose these are all appropriate things one should be concerned about when considering the future. How can one even begin to achieve a bright future without so much as an outline of a plan? Aside from absolutely despising the fact that my future rides on 2 numbers and what other people think of those numbers, I am more disturbed by confidently knowing I am completely capable of PT school. Getting there is the part that scares me because it has nothing to do with how capable I know I am, it has everything to do with how capable others think I am.

So, it's not like I'm freaking out over nothing, and I was once told it's better to overreact than underreact. I'm still not quite sure how much I agree with that statement, however in this case I find it to be true. I guess I would much rather be worried about it and do what I can than think I have this in the bag and be wrong.

What do I do? is the question I asked a very good friend of mine last night.
Besides having the utmost confidence in me ("you're smart and empowered enough that whatever you want in this world can be yours"), the answer I got was:"What do you mean, "what do I do"? What are your options? Stay where you are, get worse, or get better. Seems like a pretty easy choice to me."
I don't think I could've gotten a better response.

For the most part, I'm very happy with my life but sometimes I wish I was where I plan to be rather than where I am now. I get in some unnecessary hurry, and truth be told, there's no such thing as hurrying time. In times like these I can't help but refer back to the joke Stella told Ted.

"I talked my way outta a speeding ticket one time, when I got pulled over the cop walked up to my window and said, 'young lady, I have been waiting here for you all day.' And I looked at him and said, 'I'm sorry, officer, I got here as fast as I could.'" Every time I get in a hurry this always pops into my mind bringing me some kind of comfort and reminding me that I'll get wherever I'm going as fast as I can get there.

There's No Comforting in the Waiting Room

In 16 weeks, I will be a University of Central Oklahoma graduate with a Bachelor's in Biology.

So, what next?
Great question. I gotta couple of ideas though. I think.

Excited doesn't even begin to describe how I feel about the end of December. I've been waiting for this for what seems like forever and after it gets here I sure as hell am not staying in Oklahoma. One thing's for certain is I don't plan on going back to school for at least a year after graduation. So, what're the options:
1. Move to Denver.
2. Move to Wisconsin
3. Stay living at home and travel. A. Lot.



I always have made a majority of my decisions based on what I think will make me happiest. Not what would be mor beneficial. Not what I want. Not what others want. Because in the end if I don't do what makes me happiest, I will inevitably be unhappiest with my choice. Problem is this time, I have no earthly idea which of these options would make me happiest, so how do I even begin planning?




To be quite honest, at the present time moving to Denver makes the most sense. I honestly don't really have a reason NOT to go to Denver. I could easily live there. I could more easily get a job. After a year, I could go to school. Pretty much end of story.
Wisconsin, I'd be taken a chance big time. The bad thing about chance is they have the possibility of ending horribly and I'm not in the position for something to end horribly. But c'est la vie. What's life if you don't take chances?

Staying at home. Well, Oklahoma.....sucks. I love my friends, I love the city, I love the places I go, I love my jobs (for the most part). Hard to see how a place sucks when I love so many things. I was just presented with an opportunity yesterday to get into the hospital working with physical therapy at the spine hospital. That would be some kind of amazing. Fingers crossed. I suppose I feel like I need to get out when I have the chance because I don't want to be 'stuck here.' I know in my heart I would never be completely happy living here. Or maybe I would and I just don't know it without having tried other places. Who says I can't always come back. Regardless, I'm hoping life presents itself like it always seems to and I end up on the right path.

life is what happens when you are busy making other plans

When are we truly ourselves?

I was once told I was an odd soul.
I suppose they were accurate in that accusation.
I'm the farthest thing from perfect
I am an absolute enigma.
My mind is dexterous
My intuition is ineffable.
I wonder what the camera really sees
I have the most forgiving heart you've ever known
I'm the most intense soul with whom you've ever connected
I can be the moodiest baby
I can be an asshole of the grandest kind
I can withhold like it's going out of style
You've never met anyone who can be as negative as me sometimes
You've never met anyone who can be as positive as me sometimes
I'm stronger than I give myself credit for
My downfalls have molded me
Never have you met anyone who is as stubborn as I am
I love the feeling of getting tattoos
I'm addicted to pain
and the numbness that follows
I'm convinced music is the only thing I could not live without
In times of trouble I have a tendency to flee
If you can calm my nerves you may have the key
My walls are higher than any you've ever seen before
I'm quietly outspoken
always seriously joking
I attempt to stay as far away from shy as possible
If you're a cute enough boy you may get me tongue tied
I'm my own biggest fan
I'm my own biggest critic
I like boys with clear minds
My passive-aggressiveness can be devastating
I'm terrified and mistrusting
There's not anything to which you cannot relate
There's so much to which you cannot understand
I don't know a lot about everything
but I do know about the part of everything I do know
I'm just a girl with big dreams.
Living is easy with eyes closed
I want to experience
I want to see
I want to stop time in a box
I want the ability to love without fear
and the courage to go after what I desire
I will prove you wrong for my own satisfaction

Come Back

So, I've taken on a bit of a challenge. In spite of an urge to be creative, I volunteered myself to Project Fifty.
Challenge:
I must write a literary piece about the picture shown above. No more than 5 minutes long when read aloud. Due Dec 7.
Why:
My silly little self was feeling adventurous. I am in no way advanced in the writing department. However, I am very excited to be doing this because it is a challenge. I'm pretty sure I'm underestimating myself and I'm pretty pumped to see what I come up with. I will post my creation. Stay tuned. x

ginger

[We allow people to treat us the way that they do, good or bad]

My good friend said this to me tonight and I had to write it down because it makes me think in a whole new perspective. I want to be able to come back to it. x